A few days ago, our much-loved Airedale Terrier, Frankie died. She was 3 years old and full of life. We had even been thinking of letting her have a litter of puppies this year. So, things have been a little ‘out of sorts’ for me.
Yesterday, I was walking our other Airedale Terrier, Geoffrey, we were approaching a gate, I normally had two of them pushing through at the same time, this time, Geoffrey hung back and waited for me to go through then he followed.
Suddenly, out of nowhere I felt an intense feeling of loss. Of her, of her puppies she’d never have, of her barky conversations and her love of playing ball. Tears flowed down my cheeks and Geoffrey stayed closer than normal as we finished our walk.
It got me thinking, during the lockdown period, lots of people are talking about loss. People have lost loved ones, friends and it is hard not to be affected with the numbers of deaths each day, especially those people who have lost their lives doing their job in the NHS and other keyworker roles.
Loss can also be about other things too, loss of freedom, loss of playtime with friends, loss of routine, of sports and not forgetting loss of income, loss of savings nest eggs, loss of bonuses and tips.
Loss can be about loss of human connection, of touch, of that time to just be with someone you love. Loss can be of great moments that would normally have been shared, birth of a new baby, an engagement or even a birthday party.
If you have a feeling of loss, it can creep up and surprise you, things can seem to be ok, then not ok. You feel fine, then not fine. If this happens to you, what could you do?
I got home from that walk and I sat in the garden, glorious sunshine warming my skin. Closed my eyes and recalled the wonderful times I had with Frankie, the sofa she helped un-stuff, the way she tilted her head when she was listening to me, and slowly the feeling of loss started to move within me, I realised that it is perfectly ok to feel sad, to feel loss and you don’t need to be scared to show how you feel.
If you are currently experiencing loss of any kind, you may find talking to someone can help you put things into perspective.
You might like to speak to a family member, a friend or a professional, there are also lots of online and telephone support services. Just want to let you know, no matter how and when your loss sneaks up on you, there is always someone willing to help you.
If you read this and want to talk to me, then you can always get in touch.